Thankfully, I’ve avoided the emergency room. After six weeks of daily rice socks and side-side-stretching, my penis has, in fact, lengthened. I’m embarrassed to admit how satisfying it felt to notch six inches on my ruler. And I’m confident those increases would continue if I stuck with Big Al, but I think I’ll stop here. After all, as Nelson explains, the average penis is 5.16 inches, so at just over 6, I’m already in the 70th percentile. “You’re an inch bigger than average and thick,” he says. “Holy shit, what more do you want?”
In a last brief conversation with Alistair, he asks if I would ever consider going under the knife. I tell him I’ve seen such a bewildering array of shapes and sizes over the past few weeks, I don’t even know what normal is any more. If it does the job nature intended, I say, that should be enough. For many men wanting an enlargement, it’s probably not so much about what’s in their pants as what, somewhere along the way, has got into their minds – and that can’t be fixed by a fat injection and a severed ligament.